Facinating Friday

OK as Friday nights go this was above typical and not quite fantastic. I certainly struggled when leaving work with the idea of getting ready and going out. It had been a long week, information over load and not enough answers to everybodys questions. It had been an emotional week too. The needs are great in our community right now, people are in pain. They are suffering from job loss and fear of financial ruin. I had calls this week from my aunt who is having surgery next week, my mom is also having surgery next week, my friend who's grand child has caught a rare virus and my loose the loss of her limbs at 4 years old. My own children are going through some growing pains this week and most of these concerns have been filtered through me. So its no wonder at the end of the week I have not got too much energy left to do anything. As my mother would say; " the mind is willing but the body is weak".



I drove home and found it difficult to even plan what I was going to wear to go for an after work drink. Casual or dressy, sultry or vixen, parading or watching? When it came right down to it comfort won over all of it. Nice dark jeans, peasant blouse and tear drop cardigan and some sexy platform shoes. I touched up the make up, ran some mouse through my hair and a little lippy and off we went!



I picked up my friend and she let me know that her daughters' life had impacted our drink time so we really only had 45 minutes as we had to get her to work. We were visiting a new spot for drinks and it seemed that we were early enough that we appeared to catch the geriatric crowd. So basically the scenery was nothing to look at. However I rediscovered a drink I had not had in years, Campari and soda! It was so lovely and refreshing but it gave me an appetite. Luckily the h'orderves were really fabulous and so happy hour became my happy 45 minutes. We chatted about our weeks' and the drama of daily living and soon it was time to leave. However we decided that we would go to dinner after dropping of the daughter. So I made a reservation at a French restaurant.



After doing our parenting duty we went to the restaurant early and decided to have a drink before dinner. We were the only patrons at that time and so we had a full view of the place and choice seating. We had a view of the front door and the open kitchen. We were able to observe this wonderful French Chef create sumptuous dishes. The strangest thing happened, my friend developed a crush on the Chef. Our conversations and ramblings were punctuated adoring statements; " Look at his dimples" , " he is so handsome!", " he had broad shoulders, and a little belly". Of course our food was truly fabulous. Salad de Capri and Moules Mariniere with Pernod and frits. Bliss!! We rounded it out with a capacino and creme brulee.

The evening was coming to a close too soon, we were enjoying ourselves. My friend admitted to never really enjoying food this way. She explained that she liked good food and enjoyed the taste of fresh ingredients but she had never been one with her food. Tonight she learned to eat her muscles by the shell, and sup the broth. She savoured each spoonful of creme brulee, letting her taste buds dance as the smooth creamy testure lit up with the taste of Grand Mariner. She said the whole expereince was as exciting as having a pedicure! I was delighted to hear it, I mean some one who enjoyed the whole culture of eating, not just having sustenance!

As we were waiting for the bill, a man and woman arrived to be seated for dinner. I recognized him as a man who was a bit of a womanizer and we had often "bumped into him" at Friday night happy hours. This married man was with his wife who was not it seemed kean to be out. We said our polite hellos and enjoyed the squirm as he tap danced through the light chat . No doubt there will be some not so light chat going on after we left if she had an intuitive bone in her body.

It was only 8 pm so we went back to her house for more wine and chat. I delcined the wine as I felt like a headache was hovering and wanted to avoid being taken under be a migraine this weekend. We fell into a wonderful rhythm of sharing and feeling and of course with sharing comes a few tears. It has always been risky for me to let my guard down and feel things as I then walk around feeling. That leaves me vulnerable and then I get mad at myself for feeling anything or having expectations that anyone might feel the same as I do. It is complicated I know! However I got through it staying relatively sane and bed time soon approached. I went home to Daisy and reveled in her happy dance as I walked through the door. Being loved that way was easy. I tousled her hair and let her out, she bounded off with a happy bark.

Today I learned that I have lots to teach, my closest friend did not know I lived in France as a teen or that I had fear of never being good enough. I also learned that I need to be kinder to me and let the fear go. All easier said than done. So today should's are that I will practice kindness to myself each day and so I need to learn how to do that. The universe will tell me how, I do have faith.